I’ve been staying with my parents since Friday. I am happy I have some time off of work so I can be here. It’s nice being here. It’s very comfortable. The towels smell so good and the bed I sleep in is so comfortable. I sleep great when I’m here. It’s home.
I just wish my dad was doing better. I feel so bad for him. He’s in a funk. He’s weak, tired, and worst of all, he’s bored. I get him outside to walk and today we went around the block, which is good because we usually only make it to the end of the block. Later, I got out the photo albums, but for some reason it made him anxious to look at pictures. He didn’t want to look at them for very long. Today he was more active, going from one room to another. He would go in a room, sit down or lay down, and then go to another room and do the same thing. I think it was good that he moved around a little more today. He needs to just start feeling normal again.
Dad used to love his phone! He would call his sister in Arizona. He would call us kids. He has apps that alert him about breaking news, weather, and sports. His phone now sits on the counter in the kitchen. My mom makes sure it’s always charged in case one day he decides to check it. I watch the alerts pop up on his phone. I see that people are sending him texts. I see that he is getting messages on Facebook. He has no interest in even checking. He is willing to do whatever we suggest except eat. He doesn’t have a taste for anything. He still has no appetite.
Yesterday I heard him tell my mom that he doesn’t deserve this. He doesn’t! He doesn’t deserve feeling like this. He should be happy. He survived a very serious surgery. The surgery went well and he should be feeling like a “new man”, like the surgeon told him. He should be doing what makes him happy, but all he’s doing is surviving. I’m hoping he can get the help he needs from an appointment I made today. That has been frustrating, too. We’ve tried to get him help. No one is available. We were given some referrals, but when I called they said the doctor isn’t taking new patients, or that they don’t take the insurance. I just want my dad better, and I can’t find anyone to help. This has been the most frustrating time trying to get my dad the help he needs. I just wish there was a group of doctors that would follow the patients after surgery. We had to go out a seek them, and we are still searching.
I will do what ever it takes to get Dad back to where he should be and where he wants to be. He has a lot more living to do! The Cubs Opener is in a couple of weeks! Staying positive!!!